dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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