Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
