Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Randomize
