i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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