oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
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You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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