Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
