Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
