i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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