Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
