the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
