If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
