plz talk dirty to me
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
