i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
