I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
