how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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