If that was your dad, he is hot
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
