Midget sex pt 2 tonight
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
