She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
