Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
