she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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