If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
