can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
