Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
