I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
