Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
