2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
