I am full of burrito and curiosity
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
