I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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