And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
