i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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