I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
