I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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