Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Randomize
