I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
