One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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