So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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