Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
