Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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