just come out here and I will go home with you...
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
