oh god the rape fog is back!
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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