Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
