He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
this will be a night to untag.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
