listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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