shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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