I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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