I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
