Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Its about making memories worth repressing
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Randomize
