Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
