My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
