1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
