about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
