take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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