when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
