It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
