Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
