that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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