My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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