singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Boobs are out for the taking
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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