Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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