she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
